ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize