We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize