You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
