So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just gift wrapped bread.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
