Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
