She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
