i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
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