I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
They took my balls.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
