Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
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When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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