He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
