I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
