There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
