ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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