Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
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At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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