I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
