Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
