Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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