absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
