Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
