Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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