Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize