shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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