She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Even the bartender felt bad for me
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
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Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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