is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
