Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
