Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
