Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize