the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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