I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My cat gives me a boner
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
