You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
