I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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