like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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