Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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