Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
