I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
this will be a night to untag.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
