did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
