found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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