Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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