oh god the rape fog is back!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
