i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
