have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
