I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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