You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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