we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
