I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
