susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Drunk is not a location!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
