you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
