Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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