i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
