What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
should my penis look like a turkey
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Randomize
