Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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