I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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