Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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