she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
