Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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