Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize