oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So many bounce houses so little time
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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