gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
